I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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