dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
