I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
