The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
