Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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