Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
