The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
