I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
