in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
