i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So much rum. So many feels.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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