Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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