Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
