I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
