I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
