yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
