Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
