All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
