What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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