i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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