If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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