My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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