First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
false alarm. still invincible.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
