Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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