Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
