ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just tell him i said nine months
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
