why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
