2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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