I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
