were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
