The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
