Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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