Are we in a gay sports bar?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
