didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
