Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
