Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
