After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
