you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Drunk is not a location!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
