Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize