Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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