Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
