so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
