Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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