I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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