Define "chronic" masturbator.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
