there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
