She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize