Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
