I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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