Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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