I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
